When I Grow Up I Wanna Be a Tree

And reach,

reach,

reach to the sky...

This weekend was the tree planting ceremony at the high school HeeJun and I attended. My mom, dad and my wonderful neighbors headed the organizing and planting of the tree. It was such a kind and thoughtful gesture. They picked the kind of tree that is outside his parents house. He always thought it was so cool and always commented on how beautiful it was.

Supportive family and friends gathered at the high school where HeeJun and I started our story.

I felt so anxious all morning. The first time I actually asked for some drugs. Alas, no one had any!

I was actually able to say something this time. At the funeral, i could barely speak, let alone stand up and say something. This almost felt like it was going to be the funeral that I would remember. While I was driving to Raleigh for the ceremony, my mind couldn't help but repeat the day of the funeral in my head. Who was there? What was said? I have no idea. What I do know is that I was surrounded by love and support that day. As I was this weekend. We had a picnic at Shelley Lake afterwards, the lake that HeeJun and I enjoyed many picnics and walks.

Here's what I said: (or what I think I said...kind of a blur)

" HeeJun believed being an individual, being different was important. So when I was trying to figure out what I was going to say today, it didn't seem right to read someone elses' words, Shakespeare or even my own seemed wrong. That just wasn't HeeJun. So I went through his journals, letters and cards to me and wrote down some things he would have said if... in his own words.

Wings are only good super hot and better if shared with friends who can't handle the heat.

Food is the best part of a wedding or party, and you should never share your fries.

Work hard, so you can play hard. No excuses, play like a champion. The first chance you get, go see the glaciers in Alaska.

Crashing is part of the game. Wear gear and keep a level head.

Respect your parents. He wrote, " my parents have taught me right from wrong, have taught me all my morals. They had a great impact on who I have become. I love them, even thought I don't say it enough.

Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.

He wrote, "What do I have to fear? God is in control and has a plan for my future, my job, my wife, my friends. Man, He has a plan and it is so much greater than my own. I have a relationship with the God of the universe. Without a shadow of a doubt He loves me. He is so real to me it's like He is sitting right next to me and I want to dwell in that place forever."

He wrote "I love you and love never dies".

Then an understanding neighbor read a poem;

We Remember Him

In the rising of the sun and its going down

We remember him.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of the winter

We remember him.

In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring

We remember him.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of the summer,

we remember him.

In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

we remember him.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,

we remember him.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

we remember him.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

we remember him.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

we remember him.

So long as we live, he too shall live,

For he is now a part of us,

as we remember him.