Music in my Head

Save a Place for Me

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes'
Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you
Save a place for meSave a place for meI'll be there soonI'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

Wait For Me
You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till I'm finally done
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
No one else knows the feeling inside

Widow in the Snow

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Snow pretty much sucks. As a widow, I hate it. It reminds me that I am alone. I don't have HeeJun anymore to make the decision if it's okay to drive. I don't have him anymore to go pick up the much needed White Chocolate Mocha. I don't have him anymore to cuddle up on the couch and watch movies with on snow days.

I felt really trapped and lonely yesterday. I didn't want to venture out.

I didn't want to, but I did. I took the dogs for a walk. I watched the neighborhood kids sled down the hill.

Just that one step out the door, gave me a boost in self confidence and a push out of the self pity party and into the ROCK BAND party. I have to admit, if you want to get out of a funk, play a little Rock Band with my incredible neighbors!

I even ventured out today to get a Mocha all by myself. I threw my hand in the arm and performed a little fist pumping action once I got to the Starbucks!

May I tirade?

May I vent for a moment?

My husband worked for the bank. I have done everything I thought needed to be done to inform the bank what happened. So why do I keep getting his atm card and statements addressed to him?

Why do I still get life insurance advertisements addressed to him? For irony?

And to add insult to aching hurt, did the IRS have to address their tax statement to HeeJun Kim, DEC'D?