Friday, August 21, 2009

I got a hair cut.

I bought new clothes.

I wore earrings to work.

I wore some makeup.

Apparently, this means I am better and ready to date.

HA! If they only knew... But they don't want to know. They would rather see me dressed up and looking as if I'm okay.

I'm lonely, but not that lonely.

I joke with people that for my birthday they can hire me an escort. Or just someone to kiss me, that's all. Only joking. If I joke, then people can't see the hurt.



womanNshadows said...

you look beautiful. you maybe did it in part for him, in part for yourself. you want to feel better but it isn't a choice like, "i'll have a glass of chocolate milk." it will happen when it happens.

i'm not much to go by but i think you're doing fine. you hurt. the person who died meant everything to you; laughter, future, Christmas, love, old age. i feel the pain still inside you. it's still inside me for my own husband. we miss them and nothing, not even a pillow or a little sock dog can fix that.

but i know what you're going through. i see you up there on the same journey as i am. somehow, we'll keep going. good days. bad days. days to dress better. days to drift off into our own thoughts.

you look beautiful. that's it. no date. no suggestions on where you should be or what you should be doing. simply that. you look beautiful.

Brittany said...

Through my widow journey, I have found that people see what they want to see. Grieving makes most folks uncomfortable, so if you are "looking" better than the day before, they'll jump on the chance to say you are ready to move on.

But, if a pretty haircut and fab earrings make YOU feel good... Darn it! Do it! :)
Sparkly, shiny baubles always lift my spirits!

I'm glad you had a good day (even if it was just on the outside).
There WILL be more.
Give yourself some more time to heal. There's no rush in your recovery.
Check out Job 8:21 (it's a good one!).

Love ya, Friend.

Steven and Candi Manning said...

I love you.