HeeJun and I went on many vacation together. He "worked hard, so he could play hard", and he wanted to go on big vacations. We always talked about going to New York, but something always came up.
While married we visited;
Bora Bora
New Orleans
Cape Breton
San Fransisco
Charleston
Chimney Rock
Alaska
This trip to New York was fun and busy. It was so good to see friends and I was the typical tourist taking pictures and gasping at Times Square and Central Park. Ah, I loved Central Park. there were moments were the hurt of not having HeeJun there overshadowed the fun, but I had great friends to make me laugh and that really cared.
I'm laughing in this picture. Really laughing. How did that happen?
I won't go into too much detail about the trip, because, to be honest, I don't want to.
New York
Diverse- So many cultures!
Tough Survivors-so many subways and buses! i loved the whispers of "dolce gabana, coach" in my ear while we walked through China Town
Too cool- what did New Yorkers do before Ipods and Cell Phones?
Movies and celebrities.- I saw BJ Novak (ryan from the Office)
I wonder what HeeJun would have thought. I wonder how we would have experienced New York together?
I think it was the overwhelming exhaustion-it is seriously the city that never sleeps- and the fact that i had been running full steam ahead while in New York, that I collapsed emotionally when I reached the airport. I just started crying and couldn't stop. At home, the tears became wails. I haven't cried like that in a while. I was so tired. And it felt like the ache would tear me in two or that my heart was going to shatter. I couldn't breathe. Thank goodness for Juneau and Psalm 42m and Mocha Frappachinos.
5 comments:
:( I hope that our reading your blog is not why you held back. I know it was hard and a huge step for you and you did it. I'm amazed that you did it and with a smile usually on your face. Much love, andie
we love you sooo soo much erica and we had a ton of fun with you on saturday and it was so great to finally get to share a hug with you. i can personally say i felt very honored to be a part of your new york experience and i can't imagine how tough it was on the inside, but i have a huge admiration for your strength and how you pushed through and took this step. i hope we can do it again soon and in the meantime we will continue to pray for you and love you from a distance.
I remember the first time I really laughed. Hang on to that memory... it will serve you well later on.
You girls look like you had a ball! I have never been to New York, but I want to someday.
My husband and I loved to travel too (in some ways my beloved reminds me of your HeeJ).
The first trip I went on without him was bittersweet. (Scattering some of his ashes where we were married did not make it any more fun!) But, I am better for it. I have grown so much... and it has hurt like hell. And, that is ok, because I was never alone (neither are you). God carried me when I could not walk, and strengthened me to stand on my own feet when I was ready.
Going away on your own is a HUGE step. You may not realize it today, but you have made some major headway in your "recovery." You are brave, and beautiful.
Praying and sending you BIG hugs tonight! :)
I'm back...
I have an "Attitude of Gratitude" award for you on my blog.
I have nominated you because you inspire me and I appreciate your attitude of gratitude! :)
We went to NY for our fifth anniversary, only eight months before my wife passed away. She had never been there and your reactions to the city remind me of hers. I have since returned twice. The most recent trip was good, but the first one was bittersweet. It was the first time with my then three-year-old, but also the first time without her mommy.
Glad you were able to enjoy yourself. Eventually the laughter to tears ratio will reverse itself and you won't be quite so surprised when you laugh.
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