Friday, January 23, 2009

Heaven and Heartbreak

I am so grateful and amazed that HeeJun knew Jesus and experienced a deep relationship with Him before...this. thank God for A.C and Corey, for sharing the Gospel with him in college. it brings me such comfort and hope. it also makes me so sad for my friends and family that don't know Him. i fear deeply for them. i have no idea how i would feel if this had happened and i did not know where HeeJun was and Who he was rejoicing with. my grief would be unimaginable. i fear for my friends and family. if we have learned anything through this, it is that we can not waste another minute, we are not promised tomorrow. we can't wait until we are older, or wiser. we can not make excuses. the isses like abortion, homosexuality, alcohol, those are just excuses, small roadblocks that are keeping us from the real issue. the other stuff will work itself out. it's not about the "rules" or right and wrong. HeeJun knew it was about a relationship with Christ, a deep Faith. I know I constantly question why He did this, was it His plan, what was the point? Even though I question and hurt and at times I don't believe He loves me, I know, I KNOW that Jesus is Lord. I know that He is Truth. I know He will not leave me. i trust that He is Good. my heart breaks for those who don't know.

i am reading "90 minutes in Heaven". I could only get through the 2nd chapter. it is supposedly a true story of a man who is dead for 90 minutes. he states, "When I died, I didn't flow through a tunnel...Joy pulsated through me as I looked around, and at that moment I became aware of a large crown of people. They stood in front of a brilliant, ornate gate. Distance did not matter. Time did not matter. The crowds presence seemed absolutely natural. They rushed towards me..smiling, shouting and praising God. It was as though they stood outside Heaven's gate, waiting for me, welcoming me...ecstatic bliss overwhlemed me...the crown surrounded me...never had i felt so loved...pain and grief vanished...the joyousness of the place wiped away any questions...everything was blissful and perfect....more and more people came to welcome me...their faces radiated a serenity i had never seen on earth...Heaven was many things, but without a doubt, it was the greatest family reunion of all."
" I had never felt such powerful embraces or feasted my eyes on such beauty. Warm, radiant light engulfed me. Dazzling, vivid colors."
"I wasn't consious of anything I had left behind. Time had no meaning...Felt no regrets of leaving earth..I could only rejoice...I felt more loved than I had ever in my life."
"The sound of Heaven...holy swoosh of wings...brilliant and pleasant sound ever...i was part of the music...melodies of praise...joyful worship...

I shed lots of tears reading this book adn imaginging what it must have been like for HeeJun and what it will be like for me when we do meet again.


Kathie said...

Dear Erica, I am Jason's mom...he and your husband knew each other from Campus Crusade. I just finished the book 90 minutes in Heaven two days ago. I too wept as I imagined Jason standing there at the gate and I am sure your husband was part of his welcoming committee. I have read the whole book, but I keep rereading the chapters on heaven...what a comfort it brings, what a promise for all of us. I pray for you everyday when I am praying for Daniela...such a difficult journey for ones so young..but it will be worth it all, when we get there...May God bless you and keep you in his care, today and every day.

Jason's Mom

Lauren said...

Erica, I know just what you mean in terms of being heartbroken for those friends and family who don't know Christ here and now. I was just having this discussion with Chris a few hours ago because my 18 year old brother is really really really rebelling against God, and it is sad, and scary. It is scary for me to know that if something happens to him, that he will not be with the Lord. BUT, also extremely sad that he is missing out on the immense joy and peace that can be experienced here and now through knowing Christ as Lord and Savior.

Emily said...

Oh the day you and HJK will amazing!!! And you will forget all the grief you feel here on earth...and just be reunited and happy. How amazing!