Thursday, January 1, 2009

2008 sucked

I realized last night that I have spent every New Years with HeeJun since freshman year in high school. Matt B has a video of his New Year's party freshman year that always cracked HeeJun up. Everyone is wishing each other happy new year, and there I am right in the middle of everyone kissing my boyfriend. (Shout out to Chris N).

The greatest New Years EVER was in 2000 when I went to Atlanta Christmas Conference with HeeJun. He had accepted Christ that year, and I just wanted to go be with him for New Years. I didn't really care about that other stuff that came with the conference. Until I got there,, and realized, "whoa, something was missing big time from my life". I remember standing on top of the hotel in the middle of downtown ATL and everyone around us was screaming Happy New Year and blowing horns and ringing bells. HeeJ looked at me and said something profound. I wish I could recall the exact words, but it was pretty much, "don't you get it now?" That was the night I realized what I was missing was this relationship with Jesus.

I remember HeeJun coming to visit my Christmas Conference in 2003 on New Years. We rang in the New Year praying. I remember being so nervous praying with him, and also so in awe that my fiance loved Jesus so much.

Pretty much every year we have been married, we would go out wth friends that night and then ring in the New Year at home, watching the ball drop.
Look at how blonde my hair was! Geez!

Now that everything has changed, I kinda have this weird urge to do something dramatically different with my life. Like before,my life was meaningful as HeeJun's wife. I found my purpose in loving HeeJun. Now, what do I do? I feel like I should give back. i get why people move to Africa or join the Peae Corps after something big happens in their life. I feel like I should do something to make the world make my world meaningful. Maybe move to Africa, or write a book, or adopt a little baby for Korea, hike more, garden, camp out, visit Colorado & Florida & New York, work on a cruise ship... But for now, I will go read a good gossip magazine and take Juneau for a long walk.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with ya, Erica, about 2008 sucking. I spent the holidays with my brother and my 14-year-old niece in PA. My brother's wife of 15 years died unexpectedly on June 8, 2008. She was 41. The grief is so much stronger around the holidays. They did not even have the energy to put up a Christmas tree (or any decorations for that matter - but I don't blame them). Maybe next Christmas will be a little easier. Who knows? The saddest part for me is that they don't know Jesus. So where does their comfort come from? How can you endure such a devasting time in your life without knowing God's Grace?

I have suffered losses - my Mom, and more recently my Dad and sister-in-law, but I won't say "I know how you feel", because I still have my husband. I pray for you alot, and am always glad to see you @ church.

Love ya,
Carol B.